一本洛丽塔读了近一个月还没有读完,从5年前开始写博客的时候就知道自己是个读书很慢的人,后来我发现这是因为自己的动机延误了行动的步伐。写东西总比读东西快,一个是倾倒,一个是吸收。
纳博科夫说:
I'm not a good speaker, you see. When I start to speak, I have immediately four or five lines of thought*sort of roads, you know, trails going various ways. And I have to decide which trail I'm going to follow, and while I decide this, hawing and hemming begins, and it may be very upsetting because I hear it myself. I can never understand those limpid, fluid speakers, as my father was, who just deliver perfect phrases, beautifully built, with an aphorism here, you know, and a metaphor there. I can't do it. I have to think it out; I have to take a pencil; I have to write it down laboriously; have it before me. I do things like that. It's probably psychological. I can imagine what old Freud would have said, whom I heartily detest, as my readers know by now.
从来没有成为过一个出色的演说家的我自然能够理解他话中的含义。每当我不得不开始一段独白语言而不是对话语言的时候,思维像一张迷宫地图,我在入口,要达到的目的是出口。如果我有足够的时间去写一篇演讲稿,我会在挑选一条从入口到出口的最优之路之前做好诸如听众心理分析、演说技巧运用、名言实例添彩、甚至是经典演讲学习等一切准备工作——对了,如果是英语演讲,我会再找一个native speaker帮我修改演讲稿。这样的laborious过程虽然煞费苦心,但绝不会事倍功半,它直接导致我演讲时唯一要应付的只剩下自己砰砰跳的心脏。事实上,这种方法确实在我身上屡试不爽。
另一方面,如果我没有足够的时间准备,像是来一次即兴演讲之类的,我只能误打误撞(连使用直觉的时间也没有)选一条路,和各种内部和外部挑战打成一团,然后,在没有调整好面部表情的时候失语,在没有确定关键词的情况下跑题……我不仅面红耳赤,手脚僵直,还很有可能精神恍惚,思维停滞。最后在带着一身汗下台后,心中暗暗重复那句总结:我果然不是成为一个出色的演说家的料。
就算弗洛伊德欧吉桑帮我和纳博科夫找到那个psychological理由,我们恐怕也还是这个样子。不过,说起来为什么纳博科夫能成为作家,而我不能呢?个人偏见是因为他与生俱来的synesthesia,并且很好地利用在写作中。我没这病,我有的是hypergraphia,并且还在自我矫治中。
演说家,作家,对我来说都只能是美好的D罩杯BRA,这辈子也穿不到我身上了。
那么,还是去找属于自己的A罩杯吧。
纳博科夫说:
I'm not a good speaker, you see. When I start to speak, I have immediately four or five lines of thought*sort of roads, you know, trails going various ways. And I have to decide which trail I'm going to follow, and while I decide this, hawing and hemming begins, and it may be very upsetting because I hear it myself. I can never understand those limpid, fluid speakers, as my father was, who just deliver perfect phrases, beautifully built, with an aphorism here, you know, and a metaphor there. I can't do it. I have to think it out; I have to take a pencil; I have to write it down laboriously; have it before me. I do things like that. It's probably psychological. I can imagine what old Freud would have said, whom I heartily detest, as my readers know by now.
从来没有成为过一个出色的演说家的我自然能够理解他话中的含义。每当我不得不开始一段独白语言而不是对话语言的时候,思维像一张迷宫地图,我在入口,要达到的目的是出口。如果我有足够的时间去写一篇演讲稿,我会在挑选一条从入口到出口的最优之路之前做好诸如听众心理分析、演说技巧运用、名言实例添彩、甚至是经典演讲学习等一切准备工作——对了,如果是英语演讲,我会再找一个native speaker帮我修改演讲稿。这样的laborious过程虽然煞费苦心,但绝不会事倍功半,它直接导致我演讲时唯一要应付的只剩下自己砰砰跳的心脏。事实上,这种方法确实在我身上屡试不爽。
另一方面,如果我没有足够的时间准备,像是来一次即兴演讲之类的,我只能误打误撞(连使用直觉的时间也没有)选一条路,和各种内部和外部挑战打成一团,然后,在没有调整好面部表情的时候失语,在没有确定关键词的情况下跑题……我不仅面红耳赤,手脚僵直,还很有可能精神恍惚,思维停滞。最后在带着一身汗下台后,心中暗暗重复那句总结:我果然不是成为一个出色的演说家的料。
就算弗洛伊德欧吉桑帮我和纳博科夫找到那个psychological理由,我们恐怕也还是这个样子。不过,说起来为什么纳博科夫能成为作家,而我不能呢?个人偏见是因为他与生俱来的synesthesia,并且很好地利用在写作中。我没这病,我有的是hypergraphia,并且还在自我矫治中。
演说家,作家,对我来说都只能是美好的D罩杯BRA,这辈子也穿不到我身上了。
那么,还是去找属于自己的A罩杯吧。